Every Man for Himself, God for All: The Lonely Side of Growth.

 (The Seasons No One Can Walk With You)

Your joy is your own. Your bitterness is your own. No one can truly share either with you.

This rests on that popular saying: "every man for himself, but God for all." Do you get it now?

Think about those moments when you're so downcast that you reach out to people, explain yourself, hoping for empathy, some sign that they truly understand what you're going through. Yet nothing comes. I believe the word of God doesn't lie: your joy is yours alone, and your pain is equally yours alone. That's how the world runs.

Remember Job and his three friends, the so-called comforters. They tried, in their own way, to commiserate with him over the tragedy that befell him. Yet they failed. They mocked him instead, accused him of self righteousness, even blamed him for his own suffering, convinced he must have sinned. These were the words of people who came to console but couldn't. Why? Because they weren't the ones affected. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't relate.

This is exactly what happens when we expect people to be there for us in our lowest moments. We expect friends and loved ones to understand our pain, and we're often disappointed. To be fair, it isn't really their fault. They simply can't process what they haven't lived. Even when they try to put themselves in our shoes, they either fall short or overreach, and either way, it rarely fits what we actually need.

This is simply to remind us that those moments are personal. No one can carry our suffering for us. Ours to walk alone. Success, maybe, is slightly more shared; people tend to show up more for that. But even success is still our burden to carry. We all have our season. No amount of prayer erases that. This isn't taxes; everyone has quietly been assigned their own trials, unknown to the rest of us. Is it meant to break us? I refuse to believe that. 


More often than not, the dark seasons are where greatness is forged. I'd bet you never expected to survive those challenges, yet they're exactly what shaped you into more. It's in difficult times that we discover ourselves: inner strength, adaptability, resilience, tolerance, perseverance. Gifts you never knew you had, until the situation demanded them. And no one could have unlocked those in you except you, walking that path yourself.

To be clear, "suffering" here doesn't only mean poverty, sickness, or death, though it could be any of those. We never know exactly what's inside the package we've been handed; we only find out upon delivery. Life isn't meant to be walked entirely alone, but certain phases are designed only for you: no friends, no acquaintances, no family. Just you and your Maker. That's why, when you expect your people to show up in that season and they don't, you feel offended, used, or even disappointed. Now you know why: that season was never meant to be shared. No matter how good you are, no one can partake in your suffering. It's your cross to carry.

Our Master carried His. No one wished to be in that position. Simon of Cyrene could only assist for a short while, and even that, by force. Still, it remained Jesus's cross to bear. No one could have carried it better than He did. You are the best candidate for your own season. Everyone will act within theirs. Our friends will walk their own paths, even if the proportions feel unfair. It was never measured by intellect, it's ours alone to face. Remember, even Job's wife couldn't share her husband's ordeal. That's the clearest picture of what life truly means: every man for himself, God for all.

This isn't meant to frighten you, but to make us a little less dependent on others in certain seasons. It's to prepare us for the moment when our closest circle won't show up the way we hoped, so that when it happens, we won't be blindsided or hurt. It's simply ours to carry. Even the three disciples couldn't stay awake with Jesus in Gethsemane, because they weren't the ones in the storm. They could only try. They couldn't bear it for Him. Your suffering is yours. No partaker. No sharer.

Still, don't mistake this for a call to isolate yourself. Walk it with God, He's the only one qualified to carry what's ours. But let people stay close, even if all they can offer is presence without answers. Sometimes love doesn't fix the pain; it just sits beside it. Let them. It won't lessen your cross, but it might make the road a little less cold.

So don't guilt trip innocent souls for not being able to carry what was never theirs to hold.

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